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CharyJay Talks Body Image, Self Esteem, & How To Be Confident | Defining Beauty | The Platform

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​​​Confidence and a positive self esteem is key for any Naturalista. Watch as Chary Jay moderates a conversation with DailyCurlz, SwirlGirlArmy, and Bianca Alexa about how low self esteem and low self confidence can lead to anorexia, bulimia, extreme weight loss, and eating disorders. Learn how to be confident, embrace your curves or lack there of, and manage expectations about your body image and self worth. Don’t miss a video, subscribe to The Platform! ► http://bit.ly/ThePlatformSub See what's next on Maker.TV ► http://mker.tv/ThePlatform Join The Platform! http://www.platformnetwork.com Follow us and join and the conversation on social: #DefiningBeauty Instagram | http://bit.ly/PlatformInsta Facebook | http://bit.ly/ThePlatformFacebook Twitter | http://bit.ly/ThePlatformTwitter Tumblr | http://bit.ly/PlatformTumblr Shop The Platform! http://bit.ly/platformshop On this episode of Defining Beauty: African American hair care and natural hair advocate Char Jay leads simple beauty vlogger Bianca Alexa, natural beauty and hair care advocate DailyCurlz, and Blaisian beauty guru SwirlGirlArmy in discussion as they discuss the struggles that come with body image, and how it defines beauty. Confidence and a positive self esteem is key for any Naturalista. Watch as Chary Jay moderates a conversation with DailyCurlz, SwirlGirlArmy, and Bianca Alexa about how low self esteem and low self confidence can lead to anorexia, bulimia, extreme weight loss, and eating disorders. Learn how to be confident, and manage expectations about your body image and self worth. Char Jay speaks about her long time struggles with weight, including developing an eating disorder as a young teen after being bullied at school and home. Bianca Alexa talks about managing expectations and learning to love and appreciate what you have. SwirlGirlArmy focuses on the always changing evolution of beauty standards. While DailyCurlz discusses not trying to compare yourself to others, especially those you see online. Follow our friends! CharyJay FB: https://www.facebook.com/pages/CharyJay/252825614745663?fref=ts Twitter: @CharyJay Instagram: charyjay SimplyBiancaAlexa FB: https://www.facebook.com/simplybiancaalexa Twitter: @BiancaAlexa Insta: simplybiancaalexa DailyCurlz FB: https://www.facebook.com/Dailycurlz Twitter: @DailyCurlz Instagram: dailycurlz SwirlGirlArmy FB: https://www.facebook.com/swirlgirlarmy Twitter: @SwirlGirlArmy Insta: swirlgirlarmy Executive Producer: Court Petrie Producer: Trish Lindo About Defining Beauty: Welcome to The Platform’s Defining Beauty, a 6 part series where women of color are given a forum to discuss ethnic beauty, natural hair, and redefining today’s beauty standards. Defining Beauty brings together beauty vloggers, natural hair mavens, and a collective voice reflecting the struggles to define, personify, and embrace their natural beauty and natural hair. These voices include many of our favorite beauty girls Taren Guy, HeyFranHey, Nik Scott, ShamelessMaya, Naptural85, and Jouelzy! From natural hair products, makeup for ethnic women, to natural hairstyle tutorials these women are leaders within a community of women re-defining beauty. While centered around ethnic beauty, Defining Beauty touches on issues and gives advice on topics facing women of all shades, shapes, and backgrounds such as body image, hairstyles, makeup, self esteem, and more. Natural beauty is multifaceted as it comes from within, and it is not solely physical. You are more than your beauty. Trust your talent, chase your dreams, and believe in yourself. Join the conversation! New episodes of Defining Beauty every Thursday at 10am! . About The Platform: The Platform is a community of passionate content creators who share a love of beauty, fashion, and self expression. As collective leaders we celebrate real faces, real voices, real points of view, and believe that being unique never goes out of style. We strive to empower and enhance our beauty inside and out through the latest in beauty how tos, fashion trends, lifestyle DIYs, travel adventures, and more! From Street Style lookbooks, cute outfit ideas, and fashion blogs we have videos every fashionista is sure to love. Checkout beauty tips, DIY makeup tutorials, and beauty hauls from the top beauty brands. Get hands on with DIY clothes, DIY fashion, travel vlogs, and get ready with me videos!
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Text Comments (43)
Oz The Foolish (2 years ago)
wow....chary is beautiful
alireyisboss (2 years ago)
Hey guys! I really want to use my life experiences to help other women. I just uploaded a video talking about how we can't let guys affect our self-esteem. I think the video may help someone if you are dealing with self-esteem issues because of a man or just guys in general. I really hope I can get some support and hope you guys come check it out (^_^)
alireyisboss (2 years ago)
+Tatyana Dow thank you!
jlovesj333 (2 years ago)
Say no more. I'm already watching it lol
Jenn Dill (2 years ago)
They all have awesome hair! I guess they are not easy to treat though xD very voluminous
Hello Patsey (2 years ago)
I feel so proud of my curvy African body.😊
Alyssa Nicole (2 years ago)
Omg Ikr I got all kinds of compliments on my thick thighs and big butt but to me it hurt me so bad. I hate being curvy but I can't change it so as long as I'm healthy it'll be ok I think .. Does anyone else feel this way?
Alyssa Nicole (2 years ago)
Omg Ikr I got all kinds of compliments on my thick thighs and big butt but to me it hurt me so bad. I hate being curvy but I can't change it so as long as I'm healthy it'll be ok I think .. Does anyone else feel this way?
Ashley De Leon (2 years ago)
I came across the video while doing a search for self confidence for black girls. Thank you for uploading this. While this helps with self-reflection and connecting with others that feel the same way. But would it be possible to do a video of proactive measures to feel better about ones selves? Like what you mentioned, stand in front of the mirror and tell yourself you are beautiful. I'm alright with myself, and skin color isn't what gets me down, it's more the hair when it just has its 2 week period of crazy shedding, and unmanageability. Also, the smoothness of my skin (face). Things that can be covered up, by doing a bun and makeup, but that's just temporary. So what can we do as a group of women to help each other help ourselves? Thank you ladies :) -Boricua Ash
The Rich Girls Project (2 years ago)
wow, im glad that I found this video. I was in a terrible relationship and as a result i struggled with my body image for a while. I still do sometimes even to this day look in the mirror and pick myself apart but I realized that in those moments I allow a man to define what my beauty is instead of defining it myself and thats what gets me to snap out of it and take notice of my real beauty ... talks like this are so important because self esteem levels are dangerously low. The world has given young women such terrible images of themselves. Videos like this show us that we are all more alike than we think
I'm 14 and I appreciate this series so much. Right now I'm just like that girl with barely any boobs and barely a butt and I'm trying to start loving myself early. But its hard especially when your dark skin, btw Im Nigerian American everyone expects you to have a butt. And boobs but I just don't have any. But I want to start loving me for being me but sometimes it's hard.
Tinahgirl83 (3 years ago)
I'm glad you said that CharyJay. The problem is that most people don't realize that anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders don't necessarily go away. They are always there, they just become controlled. It's like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic, they just learn to control the temptation to drink. Realizing that - I think it goes a long way to help us deal with the psychology associated with our relationship with food. And how media affects how we view ourselves.
Stephanie Gibson (3 years ago)
You guys were being very transparent. You guys rock!
Darby Whiting (3 years ago)
Blaxsaidwhat? (3 years ago)
Love this!!
Hadarah BatYah (3 years ago)
Ummm how come i'm just finding this channel? good convos happening here :)
Salina Singh (3 years ago)
I never had a problem with my body until I allowed people to get into my mind and shape how I felt about myself. I developed pretty young and have large boobs and a skinny body long hair and flat nose and flat butt. People talked about my nose being flat, got looks either I'm not proportionate or I'm sexy and it made me want to gain weight and I felt violated by inappropriate comments. I still get comments today on how I should be or look like and I'm sure most do, but the best thing is they are not my creator and God is and he made me and loves me for all that I am. Love the show ladies.
doublecheese21 (3 years ago)
All my life I was very skinny,  no butt no boobs and I always wanted to be this curvy woman. After high school, I went from a size 6 to a size 12 over the past 2 years. I finally got the curves but people around told me I needed to lose weight and I need to be more healthy. I beat myself up and I hated that I coudn't fit my old clothes but then I realise. My body was never the problem. I was my own problem I hated myself for years and now it's time to love who I am. I got curves for days and yes that came with stretch marks, celliute and rolls But I am gorgeous af! I don't care what people tell me. This is my life and I finally love me and happy with myself and that's what matter's the most.
Paula Mugabi (1 year ago)
My ex best friend told me am so fat ,she asked me don't u work out any more u basically look like shit I was so hurt and crushed.thats not the worst part she.said it again I was so mad I wanted to hit her in the face. She was also body shamed by her friend I was so happy fuck that ignorant stupid narcissist empty headed bitch
Kiah J.G. (3 years ago)
I love this show. It's authentic and inspiring.
Jo Jo (3 years ago)
so real
lmkp18 (3 years ago)
Thank you for opening up and being so transparent and honest!!! It gives us all strength!! We felt your heart, Char!
Kay Elle (3 years ago)
I love this!  You guys are brave, these comments can be brutal.
Farin Ealy (3 years ago)
Great topic!
FacesByPureness (3 years ago)
I loved this conversation! I really hope these continue.
The Rose Edit (3 years ago)
I'm really hoping this show touches on what it's like to be a woman of color on YouTube. Because these ladies,that the platform has shown on this show all had to work extremely hard to see numbers that non woc see in a shorter amount of time. I'm not bashing anyone, and not saying that the people who have gotten success don't deserve it. But being a woman of color or just a person of color on YouTube is a different playing field,that I hope this show talks about.
TishaTheBrave (3 years ago)
my biggest problem has always been my hair and once I went back to natural it was like I fell in love with myself all over again
David Aaronson (3 years ago)
Nice work Trish!!!!
Bojana u boji (3 years ago)
I love this series, I watch every single episode! Keep up the good work, girls! As for the topic, the way I partly solved this issue for myself is by changing the way I dress. For example, I've always had a bit of a tummy but at one point I just decided that instead of worrying about it, I should just dress differently. So now I wear high-waisted skirts and loose tops and feel good. I also stopped caring about that and some other things as I grew older - like what my thighs look like in skirts and stuff like that, at one point I just decided that I couldn't waste my life on that kind of stuff anymore. Thank god for maturity! Hugs to you all!
Lama El-Hanan (3 years ago)
I really wanna thank the Platform for bringing these black women to the forefront. I needed to see more of us on the channel
Sincerely Kimme (3 years ago)
I definitely struggled with body image as a teen. I was very well endowed at a young age so I wore big shirts to hide my body. It took years before I was comfortable in my own skin. Now that I have a daughter I try my best to encourage her to love everything about herself.
Driaa Backup (3 years ago)
thank you for this video!! before I had my baby (4months) I was pretty confident in the way I looked. I've never been a small girl but have always been comfortable with my image. anyone who has had a baby knows that your body doesn't just go back to the way it was. as I'm working on getting my body back, I have to remind myself that I'm doing it for my health and not self gratification. it's hard in todays society when the 'it' girl looks one way. but keeping a positive attitude is the best medicine and cure for low self esteem.
jassark (3 years ago)
Great video!
Lydia Jackson (3 years ago)
Chary, when you said, "I want to be healthy, but I want to just be comfortable with my body where I am now," that message is SO important.  I love that you said that, because I myself have struggled with body image and dieting and weight fluctuations, and there have been many times when I've dieted and exercised like crazy for a short amount of time and lost up to 30lbs, and it always feels great to achieve those goals, but I was never satisfied because I was still comparing myself to others and not loving my body as it was (even at my skinniest) because I wanted my body to look like someone elses, and after gaining back all that lost weight and more from a period of depression, I'm now realizing that it really is most important to learn to love yourself and love your body EXACTLY as we are now, before we can start to try to change to be healthier. Otherwise, even if we're at our skinniest, we'll never be satisfied and we'll still be unhealthy, in terms of emotional/psychological health. Lately, when I find myself feeling bad about my body and looking at other women's bodies and comparing myself and criticizing either my body or their bodies, I remember "Comparison is the thief of joy."  and that's becoming my new mantra.  Love you ladies!
MsNoblelife (3 years ago)
Chary Jay you are such a beauty. Thanks to all of you for opening up and sharing your lives with us.
Brown Girl Reading (3 years ago)
Chary LOVE the shoes and the hair!!! You all look great!
gaye glasspie (3 years ago)
Charjay you made me tear up! I adore you! All of you ladies are beautiful!
CSI (3 years ago)
Charyjay you are so beautiful. I think most people wish they looked like you. Nice video.
skytelle (3 years ago)
Good job
LaToya Ebony (3 years ago)
FABULOUS!! Chary, this was a great topic. All of you ladies are inspiring and very beautiful. I have the same thoughts too, but everyday I remind myself that I am wonderful made in God's image and I have no choice but to smile. All of yu are GORGEOUS!!
jessie harris (3 years ago)
I feel the love! Great work!
... (3 years ago)
All of you are beautiful!
shawnette marie (3 years ago)
I am 47 years old and I wish I had this outlet when I was younger!! I would've gotten over many issues with myself ages ago!! I didn't have this at quarter life, but thanks for being here at "half life", lol ;)

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